Top Gender Neutral Oral Sex Positions
Looking to mix it up in the bedroom, refine your head game, or simply give your partner the time of their life during your next hookup? This is the article for you.
While you might only have a few oral sex positions in your toolbelt, it’s time to get creative. Whether you’re looking for the best blowjob positions or trying to get inspired before a booty call, read on to explore some of the hottest oral positions, no matter what kind of plumbing your partner has downstairs.
We’ll cover some classics—we all have to start somewhere, after all—and some new arrivals on the scene, but we’ll also explore some oral sex tips to keep head fun, pleasurable, and safe.
A downright classic that will never go out of style, sixty-nine is one of the best oral sex positions out there. Any couple can sixty-nine, no matter what their genitals look like, and you can adapt the position in nearly countless ways for improved pleasure.
Textbook sixty-nine requires one partner to lay face-up on the bed—or floor, or couch—with their legs slightly spread and a pillow to support their neck. The other partner lays on top of them the opposite way (as if you want your head near your partner’s feet) and each partner puts their genitals in the other’s mouth.
You can modify the position in a variety of ways:
- Partners can lay on their sides instead of on top of one another.
- One partner can sit at a 90-degree angle while the other uses a wall-twerk position to mount them.
- Partners can perform the position on an elevated surface to give third or fourth partners better genital access during group sex.
Another oldie-but-a-goodie is missionary oral. This tried and true blowjob position has also become quite popular for cunnilingus.
One partner lays on their back with a pillow supporting their head and their legs spread. The other partner kneels in front of the other and places their head between the laying partner’s legs.
Like sixty-nine, this position can be modified any way that you can imagine. The laying partner can sit up instead of lying flat or dangle their legs over the bed while the kneeling partner crunches on the floor or the kneeling partner can lay down flat on the bed (using a pillow to support their head) with a toy underneath them for extra stimulation.
The Captain Morgan
Standing oral sex has its place, but the Captain Morgan position is by the far the best way to execute it.
Simply standing with your feet together and your hands to your side (or in your partner’s hair) while your partner kneels in front of you is fine for people with penises, but it’s hard to reach all the best parts of a vulva without spreading the legs somehow—enter the Captain Morgan.
The standing partner can use a chair, the bed, or the edge of the bathtub to prop one leg up higher than the other, in typical pirate style. With one leg bent, raised, and rested on nearby furniture, the kneeling partner has much more access to the standing partner’s genitals, and can even access the anus or perineum from this position.
The Captain Morgan: standing oral done better.
The Table Setter
If you and your partner are having strictly bed-only sex, it’s time to show some love to the rest of the house—more specifically, the kitchen table.
With one partner sitting on the kitchen table with their legs spread and the other in front of them to perform oral sex, the Table Setter gives the performing partner excellent access to the genitals while the receiving partner has a place to rest.
But, this position is super convenient for partners with sensitive knees. Instead of kneeling in front of the sitting partner, try pulling up a kitchen chair and taking a load off while pleasing your partner. No need to bruise your knees!
Let’s backtrack to another fan-favorite—doggie style. If you thought this position was only useful for penetration, think again. It gives partners excellent genital access for oral sex, particularly analingus.
It can be difficult to find a comfortable analingus position that still allows stimulation of other genitals. But, doggie style is the perfect way to do just that.
With one partner on all fours and legs slightly spread, the other partner can stand, kneel, or get on all fours behind them.
Another beauty of this position is free hands—for the performing partner, kneeling or standing instead of getting on all fours, frees up their hands to digitally stimulate their partner’s genitals, pull their partner’s hair, or explore other parts of their body.
Another classic, face-sitting isn’t just for people with vulvas anymore. With one partner laying on their back with a pillow supporting their head, the other straddles their face while the laying partner performs oral sex.
While the position might require some extra logistics for people with penises, it gives the straddling partner complete control over their own pleasure, making this an excellent position for oral sex beginners.
Like Doggie Style, this position also frees up both parties’ hands for exploration, stimulation, penetration, and more. Partners can use their hands to stimulate each other, additional partners during group sex, or themselves.
The Gag Stand
This position has a variety of different names, but it’s the perfect challenge for couples looking to up their oral sex game.
One partner lies on the bed or the couch with a pillow supporting their neck and their head dangling upside down. The other partner stands over them, placing their genitals in the laying partner’s mouth.
If you and your partner dabble in power exchange play, this is a perfect position for it. The standing partner definitely has more control in this position, and since the laying partner has their head dangling over the bed, they’ll be quick to run out of breath.
This position presents an excellent opportunity to experiment (consensually, safely, and sanely, of course) with autoerotic asphyxiation or breath play. While it must be practiced carefully, the combination of breath play and oral sex can be exhilarating for some couples.
If you love sixty-nine but feel it lacks a challenge, this is the position for you.
The Bodybuilder relies upon the strength of one partner to completely lift the bodyweight of the other, so make sure to experiment around a soft surface before engaging completely in this position. Pro-tip: Try it on the bed first!
Picture this position as standing sixty-nine. One partner stands, holding their partner by their waist with the held partner’s legs draped over the shoulders of the standing partner. The held partner’s head is eye-level with the holding partner’s genitals so that both parties have perfect access.
This is a challenging position—proceed with caution, have a soft landing space nearby, and make sure to communicate.
For the rope bunnies and riggers among us, why not combine your love of rope play with oral sex? Instead of tying up your partner and rigging them from the ceiling for stimulation or penetration only, tie them in a position that’s oral-sex friendly.
Or, perhaps you or your partner practice an aerial sport like pole dancing or aerial silks. Find a position that you can comfortably hold for at least a few minutes, and use the tools you have at home for high-flying oral.
While these positions require extra equipment, why not use them if you already have them?
The Kivin Method
The Kivin Method is similar to missionary oral sex, but instead of lying in line with the laying partner, the kneeling or standing partner positions themselves perpendicular to the laying partner.
While the kneeling or standing partner can perform over the top of the laying partner’s legs, the laying partner can also raise on leg and rest it on the back of their partner’s neck (making sure the performing partner is comfortable), which spreads the legs for more stimulation and adds a bit of an exchange of power.
Oral Sex Tips and Tricks
Now that you’re armed with all of these new oral sex positions, it’s time to test them out with your partner(s). But, before you bolt to the bedroom, read through the tips below to ensure safe, comfortable, and pleasurable oral sex.
1. Protect the Head, Neck, and Knees
Almost every oral sex position requires kneeling or bending the neck at a somewhat unfamiliar angle. So, make sure to protect the vulnerable, unsung heroes of oral sex—the head, the neck, and the knees.
Use extra caution when performing the Gag Stand, Bodybuilder, or Aerialist positions to prevent head injuries. Drops, bumps, and other head traumas really put a damper on your experience. Make sure you have pillows or other soft surfaces nearby for unexpected crash landings.
Always support your neck with a pillow. While it might take some getting used to in more complex positions, resting your neck on a pillow will prevent straining and loosen your neck muscles, allowing you to focus on your own pleasure or pleasuring your partner.
Even if making your partner kneel for long periods is part of your BDSM play, make sure to protect your partner’s knees. If you’re not using a pillow for kneeling partners, give them a break or switch positions to prevent knee injury and pain.
2. Lube Is Your Friend
Let’s face it: vulvas aren’t always lubricated when we need them to be. A combination of an unlubricated vulva and a dry mouth makes for somewhat unpleasant cunnilingus. And, since the anus and penis don’t create their own lubrication, orally pleasuring these areas with a dry mouth isn’t fun either.
Luckily, water-based lubes are safe to ingest in small quantities, so don’t be afraid to lube up before oral sex! Water-based lube is ideal for a variety of reasons:
- It’s water-soluble, so it rinses off easily in the shower or with a wet washcloth.
- It doesn’t degrade the effectiveness of condoms or erode silicone sex toys.
- It’s unlikely to irritate your skin unless it’s flavored or scented.
Speaking of flavors, don’t be afraid to experiment. A little lube can turn a dry mouth and uncooperative vulvas into a perfectly enjoyable oral session.
3. Use Tools
While you should use your hands during oral sex to stimulate your partner in hands-free positions, don’t shy away from using sex toys on yourself or your partner during oral sex.
As long as you’re using toys safely—for instance, only putting toys with a flared base into your anus—feel free to get creative with using toys during oral. If you’re drawing a blank, try:
- Adding a vibrator or a dildo during cunnilingus
- Using clamps in a variety of areas to experiment with pain play while you perform oral on a partner
- Using a silicone sleeve and lube in combination with your mouth while giving a blowjob
The possibilities are endless, and toys are your friend!
4. Communication is Everything
Throughout your oral sex escapades, make sure to communicate with your partner at all times. Communication is critical to consent, and even consensually non-consensual sex (CNC, a common act in BDSM) relies upon safewords or carefully chosen hand signals.
Plus, communication can be sexy. Instead of simply asking, “Can I do this to you?” try:
- “Would this feel good?”
- “How would you feel if I did that?”
- “Can we try this together?”
5. Don’t Forget Protection
Most importantly, don’t forget to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy or STI infection during all kinds of sex. Even though it’s impossible to get pregnant from oral sex, don’t get caught up in the moment and forget to use a condom during penetrative sex.
Additionally, condoms and dental dams can prevent STI contraction during oral sex. Even if you’re only using your fingers or mouth on your partner’s genitals, you should still take precautions with first-time partners or people whose STI status you don’t know.
Let’s Get This Head
We hope that this guide sparked your imagination for new oral sex positions. Try some of these out with a partner, or send them this article to get their take. Remember that sex should be fun, communicative, and consensual, and asking your partner what they think about trying something new can help you achieve all three.